Sixteen

 On a clear day in summer a black girl wandered my living room

Let it be told I neither bothered to speculate nor begged an investigation

I assumed she had come as visitor perhaps inquire about the emptiness of my room

Sure enough I found her sleeping on a bed as I held in hand a cocktail dress

With the lamplight falling on her face I closed the door to reminisce about death

Following morning she sat at the breakfast table without a word

I drank from a cup left the apartment wondering who this woman could be

That evening I walked in to see her wearing the dress I had bought for my sister

Found helpless and bleeding on a Harlem street having jumped from a rooftop

I received a letter from this woman expressing the deepest of gratitude

It was not clear to me but it seemed we both were fond of each other

A strange woman I had found walking through the space I called home

She came to visit yet again the anniversary of my sister’s death

We kissed at a movie theater with the white girls watching us

The only black girl I had opened my mouth for deep and warm

Like a sister I her brother we held hands smiled deceivingly with our eyes

Ten years passed we never saw each other amidst the love letters and phone calls

I had heard she was staying somewhere in the Bronx called to see if we could meet

She picked me up in a car we drove around speculating if we knew each other

By the Metropolitan Museum we parked not knowing whether to kiss or make love

She would come home I would be walking around the apartment

Sometimes when she wanted me to I would make love to her

When she was leaving for work the next morning I would do the same

Undress her make love until she was pleased to leave the apartment

I don’t believe in ghosts but I’ve been told about people who die in tragic accidents

They go on to live elsewhere come back to haunt those they care for the most

Scent of skin would suggest the person within to me she seemed like a sister

To touch black skin spread legs open find love giving her pleasure

We weren’t in love but it was love pure like the scent of kin

I lay on the bed at night her sprit awakens me possesses my limbs

Brings great stress to this man I am the heart burning with desire

Body quivering tossing about breathing yearning to hold on

I open my eyes and it is my sister I think of

I blink it’s her body that hovers over me

The woman died in a car crash

I felt faint because in my heart

I loved my sister

But did she die a second time

Was it lust or blood